Sun. 5/18/08 Kenn's health is great. Thurs. night Kenn did some neurostorming again. But since then he's been good. Yesterday afternoon when I visited him, he was some what sleepy. It was so windy there that we were outside for a short time. I had him listen to Pastor Erick speak on "Faith." He opened his eyes and was paying attention. He was moving his head from the left to the right every so often. He was moving his tongue and sticking it out. I told him to talk to me. He kept sticking out his tongue. I told him it was his assignment to keep moving his head and tongue like that. I told him he made it through the toughest time. Plus, I told him he can't give up because I haven't given up on him, I'm still here for him. It was so hard to leave him. I loved seeing him respond like that. It took me almost a half an hour to say good-by to him. I wanted to cry but held back the tears. It is so hard to see him for only a few hours a week and not be able to talk to him between times or to go visit more often. I told Pastor Erick this morning Kenn's response, and he said see God is doing something there. Fri. night, I went to Pastor Erick and his wife's wedding anniversary party. Once I got there I was wishing I had never gone. I thought I would just make an appearance and then leave but one of the ladies there told me I couldn't leave. All the thoughts, emotions and memories that were inside me. So much turmoil and it felt like it was keeping on growing inside. I wanted to go running out of there so bad. Pastor could see how much I was struggling to keep control of my emotions. There were so many components all combined to overwhelm me that I ended up going into the bathroom and cried some. One of the ladies came in to see how I was doing because I was in there too long. She took my hands and prayed for me along with another lady that came in. I went back out but it was so hard to see couples there getting their pictures taken and being cozy. I wanted to enjoy it but kept having to fight the emotions. I finally left about 10 p.m. and on the way home it's like something busted inside me and the tears just came. I missed Kenn so much I wanted to go visit him right then but didn't for many reasons. God gave me a picture of a balloon being blown up and you keep putting air into it. The balloon got so huge it finally popped. He likened that to what I was feeling Fri. night with all the turmoil inside that just kept building. When I left, the balloon inside me just busted wide open and it all came spilling out. I didn't know how I could feel things to the core but now I do, because Fri. night it was to my very core. Not sure if any of this makes any sense to you reading this. I felt like such a wimp acting that way but Pastor told me he thought it was a big step for me to be out trying to socialize when I haven't been at anything like it since before the accident. He said I was stepping out of my comfort box. But you know what?? I made it through with the strength from God and some very understanding people that were there at the party. I'm so blessed in so many ways. When we must go through something, God gives us the strength to do so. God's grace and power gets you through. He enabled me to do what I've needed to do at the time and He will always do the same thing for you if you ask Him to. We may not know the future, but we know the One who holds the future in His hands, we can look forward to it expectantly and without fear. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Trust God that whatever your future holds He will enable you to handle it when the time comes. Wherever you are going, God has already been there and paved the way for you. Yesterday at Taco Bell, I had a young guy comment on my bright orange nail polish. He told me to keep it up because it keeps you young. So I'm making a bold statement to everyone I come in contact with. As for dance, I'm learning the routines fairly fast from what the instructors say and it's so much fun. I'm finding out I do need this focus on learning the routines to keep myself going and to have something to look forward to. I'm having 3-4 private dance lessons a week to learn the routines real good, but it's worth it. Blessings to you all.