Saturday, March 25, 2006 update

Saturday 3/25
Well, it's been a very exhausting week for me. 
When I can't cope with things, I sit at Kenn's
computer and play Klondike Solitaire.  I don't
have to think much and it's fun to watch some of
the cards go flying to where they will work.  I've
been playing this alot lately.  To start with, last
Saturday early afternoon, I got my hair cut shorter
than I've had since I was a child.  On the way to
visit Kenn afterwards I was on cloud nine because it
gave me such a lift.  When I visited Kenn  I asked him
what he thought of my haircut.  He frowned at me so
maybe he didn't like it.  He always has liked longer hair
on me.  That frown was fine, at least he reacted.
On Monday night at the support meeting some people there
asked how's things going with Kenn.  After the meeting
I went to visit Kenn and they had him in bed.  He was
very alert.  I sat on the edge of his bed.  I leaned
over and talked to him.  For me it seemed like a very
intimate time with him.  The way he seemed to be focusing
on me and listening to what I was saying was unreal.
I stayed in the area for the night.  I don't think I
slept very good that night.  On Tuesday morning I was back
to Kenn's room before the neurosurgeon got there.  Kenn just
didn't want to respond to the doctor the way the doctor
wanted him to. 
This is not unusual for a brain injured person when they
don't know who the person is talking to them.  Kenn kept
looking in my direction and frowning.  He would close his
eyes and not open them for the doctor.  When the doctor
tried to open them Kenn would try to keep his eyes shut
tighter.  Also, the doctor clapped his hands on Kenn's
right side when his eyes were shut but Kenn didn't respond.
I'm not sure what the doctor thought but we'll find out in
his report.  I feel Kenn was responding just not cooperating. 
Kenn just doesn't like anyone poking at him.   It was
very interesting to watch Kenn's reaction. There was a  nurse
in the room too.
On late Tuesday afternoon I actually started cooking from
a recipe.I haven't done that since before Kenn's accident.
People kept telling me I would get back to cooking when I was
ready.   Tuesday and Wednesday nights I slept for about 10 hours
each, I was so exhausted.
Thursday night I couldn't sleep very well again.  I went to
visit Kenn on late Thursday afternoon and at one point when
Kenn had his eyes shut and sleeping while sitting
in his chair, I clapped my hands on his right side, did he jump.
When I did it on his left he opened his eyes and turned to
look at me, then frowned.  I played a cassette tape for him
that had some songs on that we used to sing at church.  He sure
seemed to recognize them.  He also seemed to be enjoying
hearing them. I find he does much better with listening to tapes
or CD's if hehas headphones on because it's not so easy to just tune
out whatis playing like he can without headphones.   I also talked
to hisAunt Jeaniece, who just wanted to encourage me.  It was such
an honorto talk to her and to hear what she has been through.
The sores on the tops of Kenn's feet are doing wonderful.   One of
the areas I really struggle with is I miss him so much,
I miss his affection, and hearing his voice.  It's funny I miss
everything about him.  The emotions are so overwhelming that at
timesthey get the best of me, like right now.  I friend has told
me that Kenn and I have such a deep relationship since this has
happened that most couples never experience.  He says so much to me
throughhis eyes it's amazing.   The first two weeks of April I have at
least two meetings each week,  either with or concerning Kenn.
It will be a busy time.   
Carol

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